How Being a Nobody Actually Makes You a Somebody
3 reasons why being totally insignificant is actually your greatest superpower.
When we contemplate the universe, we tend to consider ourselves as the centre of it.
Our daily experiences project an image back to us that we are the reason the Earth spins on its axis—the be-all and end-all; the lifeblood without which the whole world would descend into a state of disrepair.
And we have good old self-importance to thank for that.
A meagre 5% of the universe is observable matter. The rest is an unimaginable vastness that extends beyond the realms of our perception, and each one of us—as complex and wondrous as we may be , a universe in and of ourselves, even— is but a freckle on the face of time and space.
How we understand ourselves is determined by how our senses absorb information from the stimuli around us and how that combines with our personal memories. This intermingling creates a subjective sense of perception, and that, in turn, creates the illusion of (self-)importance.
We often forget that this perception exists only in our minds and that every other person on Earth operates under the very same psychological mindset.
So, essentially, we all mean nothing.
Zilch.
Diddly squat.
We’re a collective of billions of totally insignificant entities.
We are one grain of sand on an endless stretch of beach.
Despite the crudeness of that analogy, there’s something rather sweet about it, isn’t there?
The universe is so inconceivably large that if we all just disappeared into the ether, the vast majority of the rest of existence wouldn’t be any the wiser. Life, birth and death would carry on their course and we would be committed to the memories of those who once knew us.
It can be a little jarring to hear that our existence verges on obsolete. It goes against the narrative that our inner voice feeds us every day.
We’re raised to think that we’re significant beings, and boy do we delight in believing that.
But I don’t say any of this with a view to depressing you. Au contraire.
I say it because distinguishing between our subjective perception and objective reality is the key to enjoying a fruitful life.
Recognising our insignificance frees us from the shackles of our self-absorbed inner voice — the one responsible for many of our daily downfalls.
The one that compares us to our thinner, richer sibling; our friend’s husband who isn’t balding and is great at golf. The one that convinces us we would’ve got promoted had we not corrected our boss when they mispronounced our name.
Our inner voice can be a browbeater. It can chip away at our confidence and convince us to believe things that simply aren’t true. It can have us like rats on a wheel — pursuing arbitrary measures of success ad infinitum.
This leads to us acquiring unnecessary items, buckling at the first hint of inconvenience, shrinking ourselves in the presence of grandeur, and living our lives according to someone else’s ideals.
As Marcus Aurelius once said:
“It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.”
While this inclination may be perfectly natural, it has the potential for destruction if we don’t gain control over it. So, we need to take deliberate action to undo a lifetime of conditioning and redress the balance as best we can.
The power of being a nobody
When aspirations promise us a shot at being a somebody, we feel inclined to collect them, like a child pocketing shells at the seaside. Being a somebody in society sounds like a VIP ticket to an elusive spot in the promised land, however, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.
Just ask virtually any celebrity and they’ll tell you about the quagmire of liabilities that is fame and notoriety.
Being a nobody, however? Now that’s where the real power lies. Let’s explore why:
1. Liberation from the expectations of others
Feeling content with being a nobody is the understanding that the term “nobody” is just a label, like any other, and that labels are merely figments of our collective imagination. We all unite in our agreement of what they mean so that we can navigate the complexities of our reality in a uniform fashion, however, life itself doesn’t define us as such.
“CEO”, “Principle”, and “Chairman” mean absolutely nothing to the laws of nature. When you affix your identity too closely to these labels, you run the risk of attaching yourself to something that is fundamentally very fragile.
That’s not to say that you shouldn’t aspire to be these things and feel proud when you achieve them, however, they come with a hefty set of expectations from others — the goalposts of which will move arbitrarily and in a way that is out of your individual control.
When you assume your nobody-ness, you understand that you may well have a label, but that the measurable significance of your existence lies in something much more intrinsic than that.
Your importance should be hinged on your foundational values, rather than superficialities.
2. You care a lot less
Caring about a lot less frees up the mental and emotional bandwidth you need to care about a lot more.
Concerning yourself with the things that truly matter to you, especially in an age where we are force-fed information more quickly than we have time to discern whether we want it or not, is not an endeavour to be sniffed at. It’s a cause for celebration.
Social media has opened our minds so that any potential invader is guaranteed access, which makes consciously focusing our concentration and emotional investment a direct assault on our social conditioning to prioritise the opinions of others.
It’s a great thing — a noble rebellion.
A nobody cares little for the things they don’t value. When you consider how much energy you expend on feeling emotions, it makes perfect sense to conserve said energy for what matters.
3. Nobody cares so Nobody cares
A nobody is unlikely to receive scrutiny over their modus operandi. Why? Because nobody else really cares.
We believe that others think about us as much as we think about ourselves, but that is simply not true.
When you’re a nobody, you can metamorphose into anything you want. No one is surveilling you — searching for your faults, weakness, or evidence of fallibility. Your missteps go unnoticed and your shortcomings dissipate into the past like an aroma on a windy day.
Conversely, when you’re a somebody, the ramifications of your actions are frozen in the tapestry of time.
Cancel culture is a great example of how when you’re a public figure, even things you did or said decades before you succumbed to the vicious clutches of fame can be unearthed and used against you at a moment’s notice.
You are not allowed to change, for fear of being branded disingenuous or a sell-out, but you’re also vilified for staying the same — for not evolving with the trends or remaining stagnant in an ever-undulating social climate.
When you’re a nobody, you get to be a somebody — a real somebody. Somebody with positives and negatives, highs and lows, mistakes that get forgiven, and failures that get swallowed up by the passage of time.
You get to live a life instead of putting on a performance, and you’re awarded a freedom that absolves you from the chokehold of outside expectations.
So, learn to embrace your insignificance — it’s probably the most significant thing about you.
Thank you very much for reading! If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to leave them below.
If you enjoyed this read and are feeling generous, please consider buying me a coffee as a token of your appreciation. I will send you positive vibes with every single sip. ☕🌸
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